Okay, here’s to kicking things off and let’s start with the concept of bingo. What is bingo you might ask? I’m not referring to the exhilarating game of calling out letters and numbers to win a little pot of money.  I’m referring to this new wave of vernacular spoken by god awful, ghetto, uneducated idiots.  For example, it is spelled b-e-f-o-r-e not b4. That is bingo and it is unacceptable, anyone who thinks that is how adults should speak need to be punched square in their throats.  I can’t handle it, and anyone with a middle school education shouldn’t tolerate it either.  If I can hear the words being misspelled as they spew out of your mouth, we sir, are not friends and I may very well humiliate you in an excruciatingly painful way.

If your last text message looked
like this, you should never be allowed to reproduce.

If your last text message looked like this, you should never be allowed to reproduce.

Why is this a problem, you ask? Because the generations of today are in fact, becoming increasingly more stupid every year.  According to the National Center for Education statistics, in 2003 in Cuyahoga county there was a population of 1,043,290 and within that there was a percentage of people lacking basic literacy skills. That percentage was 9. Think about that for a minute. In 2003 in Cuyahoga county there were 93896.1, or for the sake of not having a random half person, 93,897 people running around who were in fact dumb.  Fast forward a few years and just imagine what that number is today. In the United States there are an estimated 14% of adults who cannot read, with an estimated 21% of adults who can read at a fifth grade level. Not a very comforting thought at all.

Graph is
unrelated, not that most Americans can read a graph anyway.

Graph is unrelated, not that most Americans can read a graph anyway.

While this is not entirely dependent on the fact that we put too much emphasis on having “swag” in this country, I am a firm believer that allowing our youth to get away with speaking bingo isn’t helping matters.  Well, what is “swag” then you ask? It is this cultural phenomenon that involves the way you dress and act. Little want to be gangster boys who wear their pants pulled down with their asses hanging out, covered in jewelry and sideways hats for instance claim they have “swag”. I can’t. I just can’t take it anymore. Granted there is a certain sex appeal in the way they carry themselves but in all actuality they have no class. They are disrespectful to women, have no decency and most likely have spent time in jail or at the very least are heading in that direction.  Pull your damn pants up, they’re called underwear for a reason; you wear them under your clothes.


If I can tell
which of these you are wearing, then you are doing something wrong.

If I can tell which of these you are wearing, then you are doing something wrong.


The funny part about trend in particular is that it started in prisons as a nonverbal way to say the person was willing to have sex with another man.  Let that sink in for a minute you ghetto ass pieces of trash.  You think you’re soooo cool with your ass hanging out, when, if you had any intelligence at all you would realize you’re just asking to get ass raped. Kudos to you, way to go.  Couple that image with the fact that most of the time these idiots are wearing belts…. Perhaps in this day and age of bingo we forgot what a belts purpose really is?

Hint: It
isn't just for beating your children.

Hint: It isn't just for beating your children.

And women, what the hell are you thinking that these are the men that are going to love, protect, and be a good mate for you. Grow the hell up, get some class and self –esteem for yourselves and realize swag does not pay the bills. Chances are if you are with a guy who speaks bingo and puts all his focus on maintaining his swag then he’s probably cheating on you. Soak it in. He is no good and you are an idiot for staying with him. Pick up a damn dictionary and expand your vocabulary past four letter words and find a man who graduated from high school. Stop worry so much about swag and sounding like you’re a hard ass, get an education, get a job and do something with your life other than trying to run the street. You know who belongs in the street? Homeless people, so do something with yourself.  If you don’t know where to begin, I suggest hitting the hook on phonics website.  And no, you cannot axe me a question, you may ask me a question if something I said is past your education level or you just have no common sense. I have no problem with people who genuinely do not know something or understand it; I do however have a problem with people who choose to remain ignorant. Learn to spell, and enunciate your fucking words. Until next time, lose the swag and pick up a dictionary.