Just like you, I'm a down-to-Earth, country brotha' who is deeply invested in old fashioned family values, like small government and homesteading rights. Although I've always respected and debated politics among my colleagues, the cynical nature of big government has been a consistent splinter in my mind and it's that which has kept me out of participating on a local scale my entire life.

However, after settling down and starting a family, which was right around the time I bought my fifteenth firearm, I realized while watching authoritarians and moochers take over our country one City Hall at a time that this scenario has been my responsibility all along.

Repairing the damage that my apathy, indeed, our communal indifference, has caused this great nation in allowing the form of the legalized theft known as "tax" to continue is my personal Great War; stepping up as representative of my local government is my rallying cry to all those who truly want our nation to be great again and see that ideal as more than just an empty expression to be printed out on gaudy, American-made baseball cap.

"One small step for me; one giant leap for my Liberty."

Be sure to tune into Tower of Babel's "3&3 Fifths" podcast every weekend for updates on my campaign and upcoming election-time rallies. Together we can take "The Year of the Cock" and make 2017 "Year of The Smitty."

On the campaign trail

On the campaign trail

"AUTHORITARIANS approach with slang that's dead; might as well run into the wall and bang your head" -U-God, Wu-Tang Clan (give or take)

"AUTHORITARIANS approach with slang that's dead; might as well run into the wall and bang your head" -U-God, Wu-Tang Clan (give or take)

My Morally Objective Initiatives

No Prime Mover Left Behind

By adding the crisp, cool and ultra-hip flavor of Indian candy corn to every campaign flyer, we plan to get those sweet-toothed young Prime Movers hooked at their most vulnerable, because their parents are most likely not as logical as we are: hooked on the mentally exfoliating winds of liberty, of course. The only initiation of force here will be the "force" their underdeveloped brains will apply to their motor functions after one taste of Sweet Smitty's Candy Corn, enlightening them to ply their emotionally abusive mother and/or perpetually detached step-father into hunting down "just one more, mummy!" Friends of Smitty campaign poster that's only just "right at the end of the block!" It's a scavenger hunt that mirrors our vision of society; no rules but what we make for ourselves before applying them to others after-the-fact to suit our own definitions of morality. It's time for Fun. It's time for Freedom.

You're child is the next Prime Mover: Move yourselves into the polls this November and vote local; vote free!