Just like you, I'm a down-to-Earth, country brotha' who is deeply invested in old fashioned family values, like small government and homesteading rights. Although I've always respected and debated politics among my colleagues, the cynical nature of big government has been a consistent splinter in my mind and it's that which has kept me out of participating on a local scale my entire life.
However, after settling down and starting a family, which was right around the time I bought my fifteenth firearm, I realized while watching authoritarians and moochers take over our country one City Hall at a time that this scenario has been my responsibility all along.
Repairing the damage that my apathy, indeed, our communal indifference, has caused this great nation in allowing the form of the legalized theft known as "tax" to continue is my personal Great War; stepping up as representative of my local government is my rallying cry to all those who truly want our nation to be great again and see that ideal as more than just an empty expression to be printed out on gaudy, American-made baseball cap.
"One small step for me; one giant leap for my Liberty."
Be sure to tune into Tower of Babel's "3&3 Fifths" podcast every weekend for updates on my campaign and upcoming election-time rallies. Together we can take "The Year of the Cock" and make 2017 "Year of The Smitty."
Not a Concession Speech
Danny Tanager, Campaign manager here, wanna fight about it? Our boy Smitty did not win the local election on November x, 20xx and I take full responsibility. Corey Minor Smith blew us out of the water with better/more signs, speaking arrangements, financial endorsements, an actual political platform and we just never saw it coming.
But the problem with democracy is inherent in the idea that you Smittys out there aren't going to have your voice heard for another x number of years. We're going to dismantle this flawed system, one disenfranchised brick at a time, starting with the irrational concept of "the voting year."
Smitty and I will be campaigning year round to combat this flub in the Democratic, two party system that is destroying our ability to live in true freedom; when the people are ready to vote for truth and Liberty, they'll eventually march to the stairs of city hall with their open carried assault rifles and demand their tax money back.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes; only a government large enough to wage proxy wars over seas, drone strike undesirables in foreign countries, maintain the military industrial complex, murder it's own Commander and Chief on multiple occasions, overreach into the individual's daily life all while lulling the general populace into thinking that it's working for them deals in being something that should be completely abolished.
It's the season of Smitty, where every day is a recount. We'll see you on the next election minute.
My Morally Objective Initiatives
No Prime Mover Left Behind
By adding the crisp, cool and ultra-hip flavor of Indian candy corn to every campaign flyer, we plan to get those sweet-toothed young Prime Movers hooked at their most vulnerable, because their parents are most likely not as logical as we are: hooked on the mentally exfoliating winds of liberty, of course. The only initiation of force here will be the "force" their underdeveloped brains will apply to their motor functions after one taste of Sweet Smitty's Candy Corn, enlightening them to ply their emotionally abusive mother and/or perpetually detached step-father into hunting down "just one more, mummy!" Friends of Smitty campaign poster that's only just "right at the end of the block!" It's a scavenger hunt that mirrors our vision of society; no rules but what we make for ourselves before applying them to others after-the-fact to suit our own definitions of morality. It's time for Fun. It's time for Freedom.
You're child is the next Prime Mover: Move yourselves into the polls this November and vote local; vote free!
A Perpetual Recount
We all know that the Democratic process has flaws, all inherited by pretentious and false idea that Government is necessary. One of the major flaws of Democracy is that sometimes other people vote for a person that you didn't vote for, or even that they voted at all. I seek to end this discrimination of the individual by enacting the "Perpetual Recount," an initiative that will normalize year-round campaigning and elections. If your candidate loses this November's local election, I hope that candidate wasn't me, because when I'm in office, I will give you a second chance every month to vote as an individual to elect new candidates, because Government is a lie and we as sovereign individuals have the right to form a society and then undermine that society at every step with our supposed, populist stake on individual rights.