I'm the Master of War!

"You must pay close attention:|
Watch how Integra fares in battle!
Giving in is what kills people. When you refuse to surrender with all your heart, only then do you transcend your humanity. Even in the face of death: never give up."
That is the strength of my Master.

Update log:

thebardpedal updates

The fourth Ripened Durian Award goes to Melissa A. Fabello for her stellar work in the Rides Department of the first-world’s largest internet theme park. Welcome to Social Justice World! Built with shotgun-ethics and agitated, Angry Monkey finger-pointing, unlike those OTHER oppressive theme parks filled with Thrill Rides designed with physics, architecture and sexism! Watch as “Immutable Sense of Middle Class Guilt” wrestles with “Entitlement” in our nightly stage show! (Seasonal; may depend on daily park population, opportunism conditions and weather.)

The first ever Ripened Durian Award goes to "FuckboySugarbritches" or @winnersusedrugs after only a few exchanges. These few "conversations" inspired the Ripened Durian Award due, not only to the vapidity present in the winner, but the confused, almost unanswerable replies of the winners electronic allies.

A series of antithetic prose poems; a circular attempt at literal pyrography to trace by mad carvings the heredity of human "memes" and possibly follow it to what needs be born of them for our species to continue to survive, let alone evolve (pyrography is simply pornography but filmed with fire... believe me, it's hot).

A record of this two-man band's maiden voyage into the unknown, chartered in late August of 2013 and commencing, climaxing on the 12th of October with no man left alive, is now available for your, no doubt, eternal judgement at:

The Ripened Durian Awards:



The comically eclectic sophistry of an ever-aging, solipsistic Gaspar, Guru of Time.

Starting from number One is recommended. A true introduction and the assurance that your favorite characters are not being defaced in the form of a forthright disclaimer is also heavily endorsed:

But not to worry... all time periods connect, here: An Introduction

Heaven's Time-Gate Disclaimer: written for those with an overly-inflated sense of self-entitlement, yet who’s vicariously instilled entropy and subconsciously pervasive nostalgia-addiction are just barely outweighed by some willingness to devote their time to knee-jerk bitching about anything on the internet that offends them.

A stream-of-consciousness comic based on any “found art” that reminds me of those photo dramatizations in the textbooks of my 90’s youth. This should be considered my aesthetic ginger.

Gates of Dis-claimer: an introduction of sorts. The teenager in me needs to cleanse the palate before embarking upon more personal and serious endeavors.



Esoteric writings post spring 2009.

Poems written with a hair-trigger and pint of vodka between the summer of 2008 until the end of winter.

Thematic poems, partitioned, featuring all the classics from 2008/2009: 

Flesh & Seed ...of the Pomegranate

Ostinato City, a personal exodus tale referencing Ninety-Three by Victor Hugo, still awaiting completion

Mammon-wrought Man, an Aria in 7 parts

Autodidact Aristocrat, an epilogue to the “Mammon Aria”

One-word Dialogue, an ode to my philosophical brother in his absence

Such and so forth written in days of yore.



Essays of an exoteric nature (may contain occasional disparagement of Celine Dion).