The Gene Siskel of video games criticism, minus the brain cancer but plus some existential AIDS.
"Alex Proyas' Dark City: The Interactive Game allows you to pause reality and Tune it to your will, while your confused denizens are none the wiser as you suck out their memories.
10/10 'Sleep... now.'"
"NetherRealm succeeds with another visually stunning party-fighter for enthusiasts teasing the genre out to friends intimidated by stark learning curves.
7/10 Would Supergirl teleport-spam scrubs again"
“Fez is the highly conceptual, interactive spite-baby of French Canadian Twitter Narcissist, Phil Fish. Cons: no FEZ II.
10/10 Would pirate, not play, torrent in perpetuity and let rot on my HDD again”
“Is your Fantasy to be the frontman of a Visual Kei band that doesn't play any songs, have fans or get laid, but instead goes fishing, cooks and takes photos? A Final F'ing for the post-Skyrim RPGer.”
“More simulation in the pit stop than behind the wheel, but is a racing experience near akin to the lofty R.C. Pro-AM II.
7/10 Would open my DRS while driving through strictly regulated areas again”
"This spiritual successor to Devil May Cry gets it's due diligence on PC with an acceptable frame rate and ultra HD resolutions. One of my favorite subgenres, done to perfection."
“As a bloody, existentially challenging distractionfest, Hatred fulfills every aspect one could desire in a darkly polished spiritual successor to Postal.
8/10 Would not think of the children again”
"To my chagrin, the beta reveals promise; to Konami's chagrin, I won't be able to afford it because of all the cash I lost at one of their 'Silent Hills Playable Trailer' Pachinko machines last week."
"I've never before played a game where the title screen menu itself made me rethink my entire life; an experience clocking in at under five minutes.
10/10 Would teetotal next time"
"GGE exists on an alternate historical timeline wherein every time my alternate self ejaculates, a hard disk copy of Destruction Derby 2 comes out.
10/10 Would guzzle again"